How I influence people in a conversation?
The influence you have with people is the most valuable currency you have, and the best way to spend the currency is in conversations. Whether it’s over a coffee table or a board table something needs to change as a result of the conversation with you. You may need to instil confidence, explain a strategy or make a recommendation. So how do you get brilliant at having these conversations?
We talk all the time, so why do we influence so rarely? It’s not a matter of being the smartest – there are plenty of smart people who find it challenging to understand a customer’s point of view. Neither is it knowledge – there are lots of people who know everything about a product or service, except how to explain it to you. It’s the difference between IQ, which is being smart with things, and EQ, which is being smart with people.
The influencing process is usually carried out in conversations. But how many truly effective conversations do you have? It’s likely to be very few. When I ask participants in my Influence workshop how many meetings they have in which they influence an outcome, they estimate about 25 percent. Even if your number is as high as 50 percent, this still gives you the opportunity to double how much influence you can exercise. Here you will focus on becoming excellent at conversational influence, where real value is exchanged and where the ‘must have’ conversations are had early, often, and well. Your success depends less on the quality of your ideas and more on the quality of your ability to influence to accept them.
We will teach you my six step model of conversational influence illustrated below – the six moments that matter. Using the model below on your real life conversations I’ll show you how to use the six moments that matter. How to set conversational goals, build rapport, take the lead, understand how they make decisions, negotiate recommendations and reach agreement. And how to add fuel to your influencing with authenticity, optimism and mindfulness.